2026.03.22 | Watching My Kids Helped Me Understand the Two Sons

If you are a parent, you probably know this scene:

I’m in the kitchen, dishes piled up, backpacks on the floor.
“Hey, can you please put your backpack away?”
Child #1, without looking up: “Okay!”

Twenty minutes later, the backpack is still right where it was.
Later, I ask Child #2: “Can you put your backpack away?”
Immediate response: “No. I’m tired.” Arms crossed. Drama.

Five minutes after that, I catch them quietly walking over, picking up the backpack, and putting it away without saying a word.

Same request.
Two different answers.
Only one actually did what I asked.

When Josh preached on the parable of the two sons in Matthew 21, it suddenly felt very close to home. One son says, “I will not,” but later changes his mind and goes into the vineyard. The other says, “I go, sir,” but never goes.

As a parent, I care about both words and follow-through. But if I am honest, I would rather have the child who blurts out “no” and later obeys, than the one who says “sure” and then does nothing. Why? Because in that little “afterward,” I can see their heart shifting. They wrestled with their attitude. They swallowed some pride. They decided to trust my voice more than their mood. And when they come back around and obey, I am not focused on replaying their original “no.” I am encouraged by their change of heart.

That is what Jesus is pointing to in this parable. The religious leaders were the “I go, sir” crowd-polite, polished, saying all the right things about God, but refusing to actually repent and obey. Meanwhile, the “I will not” crowd, tax collectors and prostitutes, were the ones who eventually turned and came.

As a parent, that reshapes how I see God: He does care about obedience. “Okay, God” without action is still disobedience. He is also patient with delayed repentance. He sees the “afterward” and welcomes it. Maybe you feel like the second child, the instant “no,” the resistant heart, the long season of walking away. Or maybe you are more like the polite “okay” child, quick with words, slow with obedience.

This parable is both a warning and an invitation. It warns us not to hide behind spiritual language. And it invites us to believe that it is not too late to turn and obey. If I, as a very imperfect parent, can feel genuine joy when my stubborn child finally picks up the backpack, how much more will our Father rejoice when we finally walk toward His vineyard? He is not only counting your “no” moments. He sees the “afterward” too.

You can hear the full sermon that inspired this reflection on our YouTube channel.