2026.05.24 | I’ve Been Trying to Impress God for Years. I’m Tired.

I grew up in a church where the baseline expectation was that you were always a little behind.

Not behind on salvation, that part was settled. But behind on everything else. Quiet time. Giving. Serving. Attitude. Behind on holiness. Behind on joy. Behind on having the kind of faith that made things easier instead of heavier.

I internalized that early. And I’ve been running a low-level performance review of my own spiritual life ever since.

Sunday’s message from Matthew 23 named it in a way I wasn’t fully prepared for.

Jeff described religion as a system. Beat this level. Do these things. Move to the next challenge. Keep ascending. And he said it plainly: religion changes nothing. We strive and strive and come up with emptiness, because religion is about you being good. And Jesus instead is about Jesus being good.

I sat with that for a minute because I realized I’ve spent a lot of years confusing the two.

I know what religious striving looks like in my actual week. It looks like guilt every time I open my Bible late in the day instead of first thing. It looks like wondering if the reason that hard situation didn’t resolve is because I didn’t pray enough, or well enough, or with enough faith. It looks like serving at church but quietly scanning the room to see if anyone noticed. It looks like comparing my spiritual temperature to other people’s highlight reels and always coming up short.

None of that is the gospel. I know that. I’ve known it intellectually for a long time.

But hearing Jeff walk through the Pharisees in Matthew 23 made it feel less like theology and more like a mirror.

He pointed out that the religious leaders lay heavy burdens on people and won’t lift a finger to help. They’re experts at making the standard clear and absent when it comes to helping anyone meet it. And Jesus looked at that whole system and said: woe to you. And then He turned to the people carrying those burdens and said something completely different.

Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Jeff ran through the list of who’s invited. Sick people. Broken people. People who look dirty. People who look clean but know they’re not.

I’ve been in that last category for a long time. Showing up. Saying the right things. Genuinely meaning some of it. And quietly knowing that the inside doesn’t match the outside as much as I’d like it to.

Still invited.

The chapter ends with the part that got me most. Jesus weeping over Jerusalem. Not giving up on it. Not writing it off. Grieving. “How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood, and you were not willing.”

I’ve been unwilling in my own way. Not unwilling to show up to church. Unwilling to stop performing for a God who has never once asked me to perform. Unwilling to just come, empty-handed, and trust that the invitation is actually for me.

This week I’m trying something different. Not a new spiritual discipline. Not a better quiet time plan. Just stopping the performance review. And coming.

That’s the whole thing. He said come. So I’m coming.

You can watch the full message from Pastor Jeff on our YouTube channel or through the Hope App.